Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
