Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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