Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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