I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
