No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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