I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
