i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
