dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
