I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
porn star boner night. come get it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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