I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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