Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My liver just had a heart attack.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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