Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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