we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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