No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
