You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
