I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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