I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
