2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
