the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
