oh god the rape fog is back!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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