If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
