I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
