I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize