I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
