Is it normal to miss your booty call?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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