She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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