i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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