Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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