I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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