I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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