he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
