I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
