whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
