thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
