ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
