We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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