A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
