TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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