Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.

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(713): View more from Texas

I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...

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(301): View more from Maryland

saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.

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(240): View more from Maryland

It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident

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(503): View more from Oregon

Mattress luging...It's a long story.

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(571): View more from Virginia

What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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(512): View more from Texas

That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.

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(316): View more from Kansas

you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...

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