Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
