I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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