Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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