Cold hands, warm shart.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize