The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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