I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
