He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
