i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
