Sponge bath it is.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
