Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
