Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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