The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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