I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
