just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
