I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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