I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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