got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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