i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
