Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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