If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
