Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
