Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize