There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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