I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
