Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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