Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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