i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
