Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
