I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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