Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
