I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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