you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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