# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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