So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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