i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
